Contact info.

This WAS a formspring post. However, I took it out to make a post for all of my contact information.

MSN. irockthecons@hotmail.com

YAHOO. peacelovevegetables

I also have Skype, AIM, and iChat. And also Facebook and Myspace. I find that MSN and yahoo are the two most common ones, so ask if you'd like the others.

Pictures are worth a thousand words.

This is how bad it can get. Scary, isn't it?


Just a few different bubble maps looking at the subject.

Fresh cuts. Scarier than the first.

This isn't even as bad as the scars can be, and it's pretty bad.

Just thought I'd enlighten a little bit.

Also, on a side note, these are not my pictures, I googled them. Especially the fresh cuts one. That person needs help, and did I know her, I'd try to give it. Just wanted to educate a little.

Little Ditties

(These are just some little starts to blogs that I never really finished, and don't feel need finishing. Short and sweet, ya know?)

In my opinion, everyone has the potential to be a cutter, burner, or whatever-er. Some just don't deal with stress and pressure near as well as others and so, we injure ourselves. We aren't strong enough to keep ourselves safe from ourselves.

They say it's either easy to stop, or something you'll never outgrow. I disagree. It's neither--it's the single most difficult thing you will ever do, aside from fight the urge to do it again, which sort of ties in with the second point--outgrowing it. It's not that you NEVER outgrow it, it's just more of a realization that you need to stop. For me, it was a boy. Not one I had a huge crush on, just a really good friend who knew the situation and cared enough to stay by me and help me see that what I was doing was dangerous and that eventually, I would go too deep, too far, bleed too much, and have too little left to live.

(And finally, the smallest:)

You never know how addicting something is until you try it.

Well, Hello there..

I haven't been the best about updating. This I know. Usually what I do is while I'm at work or school, and it's a slow night with little to no customers, or I'm not paying attention to the teacher, is I will just write what I want to talk about, or just write out the actual posts. But then when I get home, or go on my breaks at school, I either lose those papers or forget about posting.
I'm going to start putting them up in the next few weeks, and consequently, writing MORE of them, but here is the most recent one. (They don't necessarily have to go in order, since the subjects of them are all about cutting, and all sporadic.)

Sometimes I can't stop feeling the way I used to--like cutting is the only way out. Like nothing and no one can help me. Of course, I haven't resorted to it yet. my sister, my niece, my mom and grams, and the tattoo I got symbolizing my struggle to overcome self-injury on my own are all factors keeping me from doing it again. Oh yeah, and also a little bit of common sense telling me it won't help and after I do it I'll just feel shame, not relief.
The boyfriend keeps me from it sometimes, but other times he's the one almost making me want to. And I know, I know, why be with someone like that, it's bad for your health, bad for your recovery, blah blah. But I really do thing it's just my brain's first reaction, not him. Like, it was ingrained in my memory for so long that I still get those urges when things get...screwy. Obviously I know it's the wrong thing to do, so I don't.
But, like alcoholism, or eating disorders, it IS an addiction. People who do this, we need help, we need understanding and compassion. I'm one of what is probably very few who overcame it with no medicine, no doctors, no professional help. And it was indredibly difficult.
maybe when I have more money, I'll go talk to a professional counselor, but for now I just have the blogosphere. How lucky am I.