It's so hard getting used to lonely.

If you're going to be weak enough to wreak havoc on my life, I'm going to be strong enough to keep you out of it. I am saying, enough, because I have people in my life that love me and support me and are honest to and about me. I don't need people in my life that are anything less. And I may like, or even love those people that are causing me grief, but I am working on weeding them out. And it may hurt, it may really really SUCK to lose those friendships, but If they're weak...I'm strong.

I really ought to see the signs and be used to this sort of thing now, but hey, I guess some people are too dumb to learn from their mistakes. Silly me... But this is my happy. And this is you. Do you see the distinct line between the two? No? Well then maybe you should look again, jackass. You will not interfere.

I can only give so many chances to so many people, only have my heart broken, my body used, so many times. I will everyone a chance, because everyone deserves at least one. I will give most a second, because everyone makes mistakes and most are forgivable or forgettable. But how many second chances can I give you? You don't get fifty, or one hundred, or ten thousand chances. And I try, I try so hard to stop this end cycle of give and take and use and waste and give give give always giving more. And I want you, and sometimes need you, need what you could give, what you could do, and I can't have you or any of that.

It's so hard getting used to lonely.